Principles of Medical Ethics 

Before You Donate

Think very seriously before donating to any breastcancer organization, or fundraising program until you read their Annual Report to see who their top contributors are, and if they have a product that appears frequently in the message the organization sends to the public. That would be unethical and its illegal. The same applies to a request that the public buys products, but does not receive a "donor receipt" for tax-deductible purpose. Read any and all food labels that breastcancer "non-profits" are promoting to raise money. Some organizations tell the public to help them raise money by asking you to visit their websites, but that only gives them "hits" to increase their sponsors.

Another tip, "signing" an online Petition is not acceptable, so don't fall for such antics. An ethical non-profit, or professional will not request your visit to their website, nor use "cookies" placed on your computer when you visit their site.

Purchase the Breastcancer Postage Stamp, the Post Office will always give you your charitable deduction receipt. Its a valid form of fund raising.

 
Family Interactions

Each one of us has our own special case, and no cancer patient is identical to another. Therefore I can only give you my experience as a single mother, with five  children (they are all over 20 years of age).

It may be comforting to know there are probably no ideal Father-Knows-Best-type families and breastcancer hits women from all types of families. If someone asked me what I would want or need in family support there's no guarantee I would know. It's a work in progress for my children and for me. They are changing faster than I am now (I can't wait for my turn!).

My ex-husband? Never heard from him but then I didn't raising the children, either (obviously, that's why we are no longer married. People don't change).

In every family each member has issues but it must be remembered who's issue belongs to whom and get on with the situation in front of everyone not deal with extraneous things. Love doesn't mean taking on others issues and for heaven's sake not when a family member is terribly ill.

Cancer does not hit at a convenient time! One of my children was going through a heart-breaking situation over which she had no control except to take action, another had just heard of a new pregnancy shortly after their marriage, an upcoming transfer and just coming out of financial despair to wealth (how stressful!!), another was facing surgery on a major leg vein and is a marathon runner with small children, another's spouse had just learned that employment would end in December due to the company moving out of the area, and on and on.

The larger the family the more variables. Notice there was good stuff, too—a new home, a honeymoon, a promotion, etc. However, change is stressful, and I really stressed everyone out, including myself! Added to that, no one knows how cancer patients suffer or those who are waiting to find out IF they have cancer. Life is not only a great teacher but its also an insulator, so if one wants a "teacher" I'd advise letting the Universe know that and don't depend on "life" during critical illness. Your "teacher" will show up.

Next A Single Parent/Person

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reviewed: Monday, July 04, 2005