Before You Donate
Think very seriously before donating to any breastcancer organization, or fundraising program until you read their Annual Report to see who their top contributors are, and if they have a product that appears frequently in the message the organization sends to the public. That would be unethical and its illegal. The same applies to a request that the public buys products, but does not receive a "donor receipt" for tax-deductible purpose. Read any and all food labels that breastcancer "non-profits" are promoting to raise money. Some organizations tell the public to help them raise money by asking you to visit their websites, but that only gives them "hits" to increase their sponsors.
Another tip, "signing" an online Petition is not acceptable, so don't fall for such antics. An ethical non-profit, or professional will not request your visit to their website, nor use "cookies" placed on your computer when you visit their site.
Purchase the Breastcancer Postage Stamp, the Post Office will always give you your charitable deduction receipt. Its a valid form of fund raising.
REACHING OUT
As you read this, I want YOU to know that I am giving this message to you. It is really about letting go. Maybe in fact, accepting karma, or just taking that moment I've spoken about, to send out an ask, and sit back and wait. During this period of my illness, I couldn't just wait (due to some factors that had arisen just prior to this time). Please understand that I do not know what your stance is on a higher power, God, Spirit, if any at all. This is not the purpose of this sharing. And, remember, this individual is partial to me, as a long-time friend and colleague. Love isn't love until it is given away.
My only purpose is to share with others is that fear, fatigue, anxiety, and just plain not being well, may render you feeling very frightened. and without any control. Loss of control brings up all sorts of challenges, memories, and dilemmas. I was fortunate to have loving friends to whom I could turn (it's very hard for 'family' to bolster someone dear to them, when they too are going through any number of feelings. I was 'locking' up and had to reach out—that is my way. I cannot betray myself or my feelings. Because of my own childhood I have always tried to face reality, not hide from it, and adjust....but now I was without all crutches. This friend has known me for twenty-five years. She first became one of my volunteers in Dallas' first domestic abuse intervention-protection program, and peri-natal center. She then went on for a mayoral appointment, and was 'run' for city council by city leaders.
Five years ago, breast cancer hit her, as well as her family of three children, spouse, and their families. She was the first friend I told when I received the diagnosis, and the first I told how desperate I felt about my second mastectomy in five months. I felt I was losing my faith, my strength, and my confidence—I was. This is her answer to me:To: lorac1@airmail.net (note: old e-mail address)
"Dearest Friend:
I can understand your feelings ... and my heart simply aches with you and for you. I agree that it's not like you to be in this state ... but then you've never dealt with the things you're now dealing with.
If I might say one thing to you...it is this—it seems as if you are dealing with the situation as if it is all up to You ...and may have lost sight of the fact that it's our loving God who is in charge. I remember you and I talked about this. I told you my only peace comes when I move out of God's chair and return it to Him, then climb down off Mount Olympus and decide I don't have to be in charge of the universe. It IS too much for YOU to handle, Carol, and it's no wonder you are completely overwhelmed. Please ... please ... take some time out ... go stand in front of your mirror and remind yourself that it is NOT ALL UP TO YOU ... Your "Abba" never intended for you to have to be in charge. He loves you and will not abandon you.
Your heart is so loving and generous. Throughout your lifetime, you have tried every which way possible to help others ... to "fix" things for those who are hurting or in need. Now it is You who are hurting and who is in need -- and it's so very difficult to acknowledge that You are not able to "fix" the situation. Please remember that your "Abba" has always had His plan for your life ... that He looks upon you with gentle eyes full of love... that He is well pleased with your faith-filled response to the latest challenge He has placed before you ... and that He is pleased that you have found a way to improve the lives of others as a result of the pain and suffering you now experience. Because of your giving ... caring heart, so much good has already come from what you have had to go through. And, as time goes on, so many, many others will be enlightened ... and helped. Please don't give up on your loving Father's plan. He has not ever let you down ... and He will not do so now! But, ... you must continue to allow HIM to sit in His chair .... He never intended for you to go through this on your own.
I KNOW you do not fear death or dying. You have been a good and faithful servant, and know that you will be welcomed into the kingdom. It's LIVING that presents the challenge. But my friend, it's LIVING that is your present responsibility. No one can do the job for which our Father created you. He gave to YOU the talent, the insight, the capacity for compassion, and the grace to serve Him by caring for others. You have many foot soldiers standing by, waiting to be mobilized. You have the Vision of what can be ... and without You to share this Vision, it will not be accomplished.
Of course you can rally your spirit, dear friend, because resiliency is one of your core attributes. Please don't bury it. The foot soldiers wait outside your door ... for the day when you again lift the banner high and beckon them to follow.
With much, much love, Margaret"
And now, dear reader, I pass this on to you. . . with love. We all need it.
Many times, I've thought how this applied to the doctors on my team, too—the pressures, the angst, the effort to carry on for us—and always be available to us. Mine have been, in several parts of the country too, and there is no way I could even forget this.
I used to tell my expectant mothers who were fearful of going into a hospital to give birth, "Reach out your hand....say, "I need help," and someone will be there and help you."
* This day, I must share with you that the beautiful person who uplifted me is now in aggressive treatment for metastasis to her spine after five years on Tamoxafin, following her mastectomy. Please place the love in your heart and your thoughts before her today. November 1999
February 2006
My beloved friend, a true sister in this universe, passed away recently. Due to the type of cell we each had (different), and the course of the malignancy that began in our breasts (we thought) I was certain I would precede Margaret in losing the fight against this horrendous cancer. It need not have happened to her, but that is far out of our realm. For some reason, the great Team I discovered had more strength, individually and collectively, than I, and have never been hesitant to speak out, and speak up.
Never forget Margaret and Bob Baillargeon (of north Texas) —who even went to Lourdes for me.
Reviewed: 22 February 2006
